Chimpanzees

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 05.09.18

* No collusion! Michael Cohen's shell company -- the same one used to pay hush money to Stormy Daniels -- received more than $1 million in payments from a company that's been linked to a Russian oligarch with close ties to Vladimir Putin. The same oligarch was sanctioned by the Trump administration for election interference. Special counsel Robert Mueller is on it. [New York Times; CNN] * If President Trump does sit down for an interview with the special counsel, he could make history if he decides to plead the Fifth Amendment. No American president has ever used the Fifth Amendment to avoid self-incrimination while still in office. [TIME] * Is your law school following the new law clerk hiring plan? It better be, if your graduates want a chance to clerk with Justice Elena Kagan. The former law school dean says she'll "take into account" in her own clerkship hiring whether law schools and lower court judges have complied with the plan. [National Law Journal] * A former professor and an alumnus from Charlotte Law School have added the American Bar Association to their suit against the defunct for-profit school, claiming in an amended complaint that the ABA negligently certified the school and "failed to act as a reasonable accreditor" -- which makes sense. [Law360 (sub. req.)] * A 15-member panel comprised of Florida State University faculty, staff, students, and alumni want the name of their law school building to be changed. It's currently named after former Florida Chief Justice B.K. Roberts, who worked to keep the University of Florida's law school segregated. [News 4 JAX] * Sorry, Tommy and Kiko, but you're going to have to stay in your cages. The New York Court of Appeals refused to hear a habeus appeal on behalf of the chimpanzees, allowing a ruling that they are not legal persons and therefore have no legal rights to stand. At least the concurring opinion was a little less dour. [Reuters]

By Staci Zaretsky
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 12.05.14

* New York has rejected recognizing a chimpanzee as a "person." [PrawfsBlawg] * Which law schools are most conservative? Most liberal? [FiveThirtyEight] * Elie's new job as "deal judge." [Dealbreaker] * Lawyer suspended amid accusations that he sexted three clients with nude photos of himself and told one "she could ‘ride bareback’ with him." [ABA Journal] * Duquesne says it denied professor tenure because she was bad at the whole "teaching" part of her job. Whoa! When has that ever mattered to tenure? [TaxProf Blog] * Josh and Jess sit down with Judge Matthew Sciarrino to talk about the new Star Wars trailer. I don't know. Looks kind of boring. We need George Lucas to spice it up with a Special Edition version. [The Legal Geeks] * Prosecutor recites "Dixie" at closing argument of a black man's trial. [Idaho Statesman]

By Joe Patrice
Animal Law

Non-Sequiturs: 12.10.13

* Remember the chimps seeking habeas? Well, bad news: they’re staying in custody, per an order from Judge Ralph A. Boniello III. Now their freedom is up to the Army of the 12 Monkeys. [Wired] * Elizabeth Coker has announced she is seeking the office of Polk County Criminal District Attorney. While some may disagree, I think this is a great idea. She’s been directing the litigation strategies of prosecutors for some time now. So why does a judge drummed out of office for texting prosecutors think she should go back into public service? Prayer. Of course. [Polk County Today] * Judge Steven Rhodes is overseeing the Detroit bankruptcy. He’s not taking any guff off anyone, including an investment banker who pledged that it was “very important” that his firm help the city, prompting Judge Rhodes to point out, “What’s very important to you is to make money.” He’s also a badass rhythm guitarist. [Associated Press via Yahoo!] * A Colorado judge has declared that a discriminating baker can no longer prevent gay couples from buying wedding cakes. It’s unclear if he’s ordering the baker to stock those stupid plastic cake toppers in groom & groom format. [Consumerist] * Proofreading law school exams. This article is aimed at law students, but maybe it should be directed toward a certain St. John’s professor… [Law School Toolbox] * George Zimmerman’s girlfriend wants him out of jail. She originally told police that Zimmerman pointed a shotgun in her face. That’s Princess Bride-level true love s**t right there. [Slate] * Michigan State celebrated putting Ohio State in its place by setting “at least 57 fires.” Can someone holding a sign encouraging people to “Burn the Couch” be held liable? A better question is whether West Virginia can sue Michigan State for stealing their hillbilly intellectual property? [PrawfsBlawg] * Sadly, Akerman partner Richard Sharpstein was found dead in his home today. He was 63. [Daily Business Review] * A few tipsters sent this one in. They claim it’s a law student acting like a jerk trying to buy cigarettes in a drug store. The sound is spotty, so none of us could figure out exactly what was going on, but it’s worth it for the guy who yells: “Yeah, tell him! Tell him when you were born!” Video after the jump….

By Joe Patrice